Chapter Three. Change.

Change is inevitable. Even if this may not come as news, I want to point out to the fact that there lies opportunity in change as well (something I, personally, mastered to neglect). There might be a tendency to assume change is only for the worse or only for the better. Well, life is about balance and every time you receive something, you need to give something back. There are small compromises that each of us do quite normally, some of them maybe even unconsciously, in order to win what we were aiming at in the first place.

2020 was for me, and I think I can speak for the majority when I say this, a year full of unexpected changes. Being flexible has never been quite my strength, but I realised I need to learn do adapt and let go, which hasn’t been easy at all. However, I’ve been taught the hard way that the sooner you embrace change and learn to let go, the easier it will be for you. At least, that was in my case.

I believe that change might appear as “an enemy” because by its definition it substitutes something already given with something new. It pulls you out from a familiar, known and seemingly comfortable situation and throws you in a completely new one – just like jumping in cold water. So, maybe if we were to look a bit deeper into the matter, we would find that it is not really change we fear, but rather the unknown, the uncertainty.

Will it be better?

Will it hurt?

Will I be able to handle it?

 What if I fail?

The good news about this is that fear of the unknown is widely met. I don’t know if it is normal, but it is pretty usual in our society. The pandemic has offered us quite a bumpy ride on learning to cope with this fear of unknown. I mean, what else was there to be done? Worrying forever doesn’t really seem like a solution… Rather it brings us a step forward. When realising that the outer situation is really no longer in our control, we can spare more energy on focussing on the things that are in our control. Thoughts, feelings, words, habits, perspective on the given context.

So, change is not an enemy or an ally. I would now say it’s exactly what you make of it. You can complain, cry, scream, try to resist it and when you’ve finished, you can start looking for the opportunities it brings along. Life never just gives or just takes.  

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